I Do
by unfertilizedeggs
Summary: And today, even though she was in love with Lucky Spencer, she was marrying Jason Morgan.


**Disclaimer:**** I don't own them. I just wish I did.**

**Summary:**** And today, even though she was in love with Lucky Spencer, she was marrying Jason Morgan.**

**AN:**** I wrote this for the Wedded Bliss challenge over at SMC. So thanks to Daphne for coming up with such a good topic. I've got tons of ideas and this is just the first one. Also thank you Dana for being my lab rat and for giving it a chance. And one more thank you to the MSN girls that stayed up late waiting for this to get done. You all got excited and then I got excited. I hope it's not a let down.**

**I Do**

When she woke up that morning, she didn't feel any of the things she should have. Instead of overjoyed, she felt this unbearable sense of loss. She should have been excited and maybe a little nervous but she was instead filled with this intense sense of dread. It was her wedding day and the last thing she wanted to do was get married.

She stared at herself in the full length mirror ahead of her. On a normal wedding day, she would have been admiring herself and fretting over the flaws in her make up and hair. She would have been wearing her dream dress, getting ready to live her dream life, and marrying her dream man. And two years ago, if this had happened, she probably would have been the happiest woman on the face of the earth. Because then, marrying him was what she believed to be her destiny. But that was two years ago. And today, even though she was in love with Lucky Spencer, she was marrying Jason Morgan.

The irony of the situation was not lost on her. For years, the only thing she wanted in life was to marry Jason and start a family wth him. And now, half of her wish was coming true years too late. A week ago, she hadn't even been on speaking terms with her soon to be enforcer husband. They hadn't hated each other still and the hostility had definitely died down between them, but they weren't friends. And all that was shot to hell when she became the star witness in the case against him. Of course fate would have it that she had to witness him shoot the bullet that killed Jerry Jacks.

She hadn't a clue what it was about the blue eyed, blonde haired man that had the ability to make anybody do whatever he wanted but she some how found herself in that position. Under normal circumstances, she would have told him to fuck off. They were over. She had hurt him and he had hurt her just as badly. And separately, they had moved on. And she was happy. She was in love again. Things with Lucky had been going great. Great until Jason Morgan happened again.

Lucky didn't understand. He never would when it came to Jason. He was a police officer and Jason was a mob enforcer. And Lucky felt as if Jason had already stolen his ex-wife and the little boy he had thought to be his own away from him. Now, he felt like Jason was stealing Sam away from him too.

When she informed him of her upcoming nuptuals, he hadn't believed her at first. But when he began to realize she wasn't joking, he had tried to do anything in his power to stop it. When he had confronted Jason, both verbally and physically, she had stood silently nearby, her heart breaking for both he and herself. When he yelled at her and accused her of using him the entire time only to get back at Jason and Elizabeth, she took it, making sure it was clear that she really did love him. But when he said as an officer of the Port Charles Police Department, he couldn't allow the star witness in their case against the biggest criminal in the city to marry him just to avoid testifying, she had begged him not to stop the wedding. Deep down, she wanted nothing more than for him to do just that.

He wasn't happy and it took much more convincing, but eventually, when she refused to explain her reasoning to him, he reluctantly agreed not to inform the DA, her mother, of their impending marriage. Of course, he insisted on being present for the ceremony. He said he needed to witness their sham of a marriage himself to believe it. As if her heart wasn't breaking enough marrying somebody else, she now had to do it with him only feet away, staring down at her with betrayal in his eyes.

Tears filled her eyes as she straightened out the creases in her cream colored pant suit. This was not at all how it was supposed to be. She was supposed to be wearing a dress, not pants. And even though she was no virgin, it was supposed to be white. And she wasn't supposed to be standing in the bathroom at the court house on her wedding day. She was supposed to be in a church, filled with her family and friends. And the eyes at the end of the aisle were supposed to be a warm light brown, not an icy blue.

When she opened the door to the judges chamber, where the private ceremony was being held, shock registered in her. The wedding was planned to be small and secret. And there were far too many people in the room for her liking. Sonny and Carly both stood present, talking near the front with Jason. Spinelli stood awkwardly off to the side, fidgeting back and forth on his feet, his hands stuffed into his pockets. And in the back corner, Elizabeth and Lucky stood together, their faces mirroring one another. Sadness. Anger. Betrayal.

Her family wasn't present. Her mother wasn't even aware of the union. She was, after all, the DA. If she knew what Sam was about to do, she would have put a stop to all proceedings as quickly as she possibly could. It didn't matter anyway. It wasn't a real marriage, so it wasn't something Sam had wanted her family to attend anyway. Her eyes locked with Lucky's and tears flooded her vision at the coldness she saw reflecting back. His jaw was set and it took everything in her to look away from him.

She stepped into the room and everybody seemed to notice her at the same time. A hush fell over them and she couldn't help but feel like she was about to be sentenced to life in prison. She made her way up to where her soon to be husband stood and saw him staring at her, concern blanketed his face. Somewhere inside her head, she made the connection that maybe this wasn't such a sham of a marriage in his mind. And she honestly wished she still felt the way she used to about him. It would make it all so much easier if she were still in love with him. But she wasn't. And if there was anything she learned from her past with Jason, it was that you couldn't make somebody love you.

She felt Jason tenderly take her hand in his. She knew his eyes were searching for hers but she couldn't make eye contact with him, not yet. He gently squeezed her hand, "Sam?" She finally tore her gaze away from the floor, her pooling brown eyes staring into his blue orbs. "Sam," he sighed, defeated, and she knew what was coming before he even said it. "You don't have to do this."

"Jason, stop," her voice was weaker than she wanted it to be. She wanted to sound convincing. She needed to sound convincing. Swallowing thickly, she paused, "I want to."

"Are you sure?"

_She inched her way backward, the uncomfortable feeling increasing by the second. It didn't stop him though as he advanced toward her, and her back eventually struck the brick wall behind her. They were alone in an alley near the pier and she was stuck. Fear wasn't normally something she gave into, but the way he was looking at her sent chills up her spine. "What do you want?" she surprised herself when she managed to force a hint of steel into her voice._

_"Ah, Sweet Sam," he cooed, sliding a finger down her cheek and feathering it across her neck, softly. "I've been waiting for this for a long time."_

_She knew what he was talking about and fear gripped her once again. Jerry Jacks had disappeared shortly after the conterfeit drug ring was taken down the year before. And when the drug ring was taken down, her cover was revealed. "Waiting for what?" she dared to ask, trying to buy herself more time. Her eyes darted behind him, looking for an escape route._

_His fingers danced across her collarbone before sliding their way back to her neck. And before she could even blink, his hand curved and clutched onto her, cutting off her air supply. "I don't appreciate being played for a fool, Sweet Samantha," his eyes were cold and she could only guess what he had in mind for her. "But since you dangled yourself in front of me, I've been craving for a fix."_

_She clawed at his hand, trying to get him to release her and her body squirmed and kicked away from him. Her eyes were tearing up and she had already begun to feel dizzy from lack of oxygen. He laughed quietly before pulling her body flush against his own, evidence of his arousal pressuring into her thigh. It was enough for a burst of adrenaline to shoot through her body and she managed to elbow him across the face as his hand quickly dropped from her neck. She could feel the bruises already forming._

_"Now, that was not a very smart move," Jerry growled, wiping the blood dripping from his nose before swinging a hand back across her face, sending her flying against the brick building yet again. As her head connected with the brick again, she felt a burst of pain and her vision blurred as black spots danced in front of her. She started to get up before he reached down and landed another blow to her head. Two more and she was completely at his mercy. At one point she realized her top had been torn away from her body, her chest was exposed to his wandering hands and she knew that she'd die in that alley._

_Everything after that happened in a blur. Her head was throbbing and small periods of time were completely lost to her. By the time she realized Jerry had already removed her pants from her body, she was too tired to fight anymore and began to just drift into the darkness that threatened to consume her. And just as she was set to close her eyes one last time, a single gun shot rang out and the man that had been touching her, preparing to climb on top of her, collapsed dead beside her. She didn't realize what had happened until she felt a pair of strong arms encircle her._

_"Sam," he breathed out, his arms trembling as he held onto her tighter, "stay with me."_

_Her first instinct was that it was Lucky. He had come to save her. She had never been the 'rescue me' type, but if anybody was going to save her anytime, she was glad it was now. And that it was him. But then he said her name, and she realized she was wrong. It wasn't Lucky._

_"Jason," she managed to breathe out._

_His name falling off her lips was like a gift from heaven sent to him. A sign that she was okay. But then her eyes rolled back and she fell limp once again, cradled in his arms._

Was this what she wanted? No.

Was this what she was going to do? Yes.

Jason didn't deserve to go to prison for saving her life. And she knew there was no way she could put him there. It didn't matter to the court that he had been protecting her. He was Jason Morgan, trained killer, and they were willing to spin this anyway possible. And with her testimony, he'd be set for life. She stared up at him and smiled slightly. He needed reassurance and that was what she was going to give him. "Yes," she nodded her head determinedly, "I'm sure."

He nodded along with her but the shadow of doubt still lingered in his eyes. She tried to ignore the stares she could feel on her as she stared straight ahead, because she knew they were from Lucky. He was willing her to change her mind. In that moment, she hated herself for doing this to him. He didn't deserve to be hurt in all of this. And she could only hope that once this was all done and over with, he would forgive her. That once she and Jason could divorce quietly without the threat of prison looming over his head, Lucky would still be waiting for her.

_"Sam," Jason lifted his head out of his hands, which were handcuffed to the table, "what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in the hospital?"_

_She tried to smile at him but her heart just wasn't really in it. She knew what she came here to do and she knew she was breaking her and another mans heart in the process. But she had to do what was right. When Mac had shown up at the hospital to question her, she hadn't given much thought to what was happening with Jason. And only after she told them everything that had happened was she informed that Jason had been arrested. And by giving her full statement, she had sealed the deal for his prison term. "I'm fine." She paused to look him over where he sat,chained to the desk, "how are you though?" Jason stared back at her with raised eyebrows and she nervously laughed, "Right, stupid question."_

_He grinned slightly over to her, his eyes roaming for any left over bruises, "What are you doing here?"_

_She sighed heavily and took a seat opposite him, "We need to talk."  
_

_"Sam," he started, maintaining eye contact, "If this is about your testimony, it's okay."_

_She shook her head stubbornly, "It's not okay. If they put me up on the stand, you'll go to prison."_

_"I did what I had to do," he shrugged nonchalantly, like it wasn't the rest of his life he was talking about. "You're safe and that's all that matters now."_

_"But it's not," she reached out and grabbed his hand before realizing what she had done and retreating. His eyes followed her hand movements until they stilled and he brought them up to stare into her brown eyes. "I can't send you to prison."_

_"You can't lie on the stand, they have you statement," he sighed and tiredly rubbed his hand over his eyes._

_"I'm not going to lie," Sam half smiled in his direction and stood up to move around to his side of the table. "I'm not even going to take the stand."_

_"Sam," he looked at her wearily, trying to calculate her next move. He knew the look in her eye meant she was planning something and he wasn't sure he was going to like it. "You have to. The only way for you not to take the stand is if.."_

_"It's my fault you're going through this in the first place. You saved my life, Jason. And now my testimony is going to send you to prison for the rest of your life and I refuse to let that happen," her face took on a stubborn look and he was positive she wasn't going to back down but he needed to try anyway._

_"Sam.."_

_Her eyes filled with tears and her shaking hands clutched onto his as she got down to be eye level with him. She released a shaky breath, before squeezing his hand reassuringly. She wanted to show him that she was serious. She had wronged him a lot in the past and he her, but she needed him to know that she was going to do this for him. She was going to stick by his side for as long as he needed her. "Will you marry me?"_

Vaguely, she was aware that the ceremony had started but her mind was too fogged to pay very close attention. The tension in the room was thick but not thick enough to block out the fact that the man she loved with all of her heart was only a few feet away, falling apart. She turned her head slightly, to get a look at him over Jason's shoulder, even though she knew it would be a bad idea, when a voice broke through her haze.

"I do," Jason breathed out, a ghost of a smile on his lips. And even though she was doing all of this for his benefit, and she wouldn't change it for the world, because it meant he got to live his life a free man, she couldn't help the guilt that stabbed her heart. There was a glint in his eye that she hadn't seen directed at her in a long time. Or maybe it had always been there but they had both been too overcome with their anger and hurt to notice it. But it was there now and she could clearly see it. And, again, as she listened to him breathe out his promise to love, cherish, and protect her as long as they both lived, she wished that she still felt the same way about him. Because it'd be easier if she was still in love with him. It wouldn't hurt so badly to break Lucky's heart. And her own heart wouldn't go through the damage that it was going through. Instead, in the end all three of them would lose. Lucky, because he lost the woman he loved. Sam, because she was fated to be with somebody she didn't love nearly as much as she did another man. And Jason, because no matter how hard he tried, he'd never get her to love him the way he loved her.

This was it. It was her turn to declare to forever love him, the former love of her life, while the current love of her life stood nearby. Could she do it?

_He sneaked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, nuzzling his face into her neck, "So I've gotten two no's, one maybe, one hell no, and one not on your life. What's it going to be this week?"_

_Sam covered her smile with her hand before turning to face him with a serious look, "What are you talking about, Lucky?"_

_"Marry me."_

_"Hmm," she tapped her chin and pretended to think, "I don't know what my other boyfriends would think about that."_

_He grinned at her and nipped her neck playfully with his teeth, "Is that right?"_

_Sam stifled a giggle and tilted her head to the side, giving him full access to her sensitive skin, "I guess I could take a look at what you're bringing to the table." She stared at him suggestively and her eyes radiated full of desire. Her fingers danced down this shirt, unbuttoning each one as she went._

_Lucky dragged his lips across her jaw before placing a long, lingering kiss on her lips, "I think you're going to like what you find."_

_She grinned back and raised her eyebrows, "I think I will too." Her hand reached down and cupped his erection through his jeans and he groaned into her neck._

_"You're not playing fair, Sam," he pulled back from her. She looked up at him frustrated and he gave her a sexy grin that she knew was never a good sign for her, "Until you say yes, I'm cutting you off."_

_Her jaw fell open and she stared at him in shock, "Cutting me off?"_

_"That's right."_

_Her eyes flashed. What made this even worse was that not being allowed to have him, made her want him even more. She slowly reached for the hem of top and pulled it over her head. She couldn't help but let a triumphant grin grace her lips as she watched his jaw clench and his eyes roam her body lustfully. "Are you sure about that?"_

_He licked his lips nervously, "Uh, yeah. Yes. I'm sure"_

_She inwardly smiled; he was cracking already. Fingering the button on her jeans, she undid it and slithered her way out of her pants. His eyes followed her movements and she glanced down to see the noticeable bulge in his jeans._

_"Damn," he muttered out and grabbed the back of her neck, pulling her toward him before crushing his lips onto hers. The kiss was passionate and hot. And as they clung onto each other, they both felt like they couldn't get close enough._

_Sam pulled back slightly, panting and looked into his brown eyes. "I just want you to be sure," she whispered, her eyes slightly glossy. She couldn't handle anymore heartbreak and even though she trusted Lucky with everything she had, she needed him to be sure that he wanted her and only her forever._

_"I am sure," he rested his forehead against hers. "And I'll wait for you to be sure too. I love you."_

_"I love you, too." _

Could she do it? Pledge to love another man when she knew her heart belonged to somebody else? She had to. And the worst part of it was knowing. Because now, she was sure. She knew what she wanted. And by the tears gathered in Lucky's eyes, she could tell that it was too late. He hadn't been able to stand another heartbreak either. And she broke him anyway. Things would never be the same between them again, whether Jason was in the picture or not. But she was sure now. And she was also sure she was never going to get it.

The tears that were pooling in her brown eyes had long since spilled down her face and her hands that were placed gently in Jason's were shaking intensely. She turned her head slightly, looking past the blue eyes that were staring straight at her and stared at the man that she was so in love with. The man that she would never get to marry. The one that she let get away.

"I do."

_I'm sorry._


End file.
